


Broken Chain

by LetoaSai



Series: Secrets [9]
Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Broken Hearts, Cloud is in a bad place, Depression, Grief/Mourning, Hollow Bastion | Radiant Garden Restoration Committee, Lost Memories, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Reunions, Suicidal Thoughts, While Sora sleeps, missing memories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:27:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25102405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LetoaSai/pseuds/LetoaSai
Summary: Without Sora, Cloud was lost. Worse, he was broken. The year hadn't been kind to him, even if he had ended up finding Squall.Set during Chain of Memories.
Relationships: Cloud/Leon (Kingdom Hearts), Leon (Kingdom Hearts)/Squall Leonhart/Cloud Strife
Series: Secrets [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1593604
Comments: 53
Kudos: 128





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts 
> 
> Set before main story

Hallow Bastion. He’d been so ready to arrive, so eager to get there and now he didn’t recall why. Why was one more ruined world supposed to be a thrill?

He’d heard rumors, Hallow Bastion was supposed to be the end of the road for those nasty Heartless creatures. There were whispers now that the one controlling them had been put in their place. 

Cloud wasn’t sure if that was accurate or not. Gaia knew how many times he’d killed Sephiroth. All the same, certain worlds were rebuilding themselves and that was positive news if he ever heard any. 

“Cloud, i think you should rest, okay? Slow down. Sleep.” Zack’s voice trickled into the back of his mind while he slipped through the dark corridor. He could hear traces of worry in his voice that was so very unlike him. 

“I haven’t rested in well over ten years and you know it.” Cloud muttered. “I don’t have time to rest. When i rest, i think.” 

He didn’t have time to think. It must have been closer to fifteen years now that he searched for his husband and son. The bloody war had ended and he’d had nothing. He’d been trapped there by Cosmos’ spite and whims, all the while feeling the two beings he loved most in the world drift further and further away. 

He’d wasted so much time _resting_. He hadn’t been to a fraction of the worlds he should have been by now. He wasn’t searching as thoroughly as he should have been. What the fuck had he been doing? 

He must have lapsed in memory again thanks to the damn mako that ran through him. There were too many sporadic memories on a beach that meant nothing to him.

“Cloud please. Don’t do anything you’ll regret.” 

“Enough, Zack…” Cloud muttered. He was filled with regrets. It’s all he was anymore. He lost his family, and his friends likely didn’t survive the fall of his world. He was alone and adrift. He didn’t know how he’d survived this long. He didn’t know how he didn’t give up after all these years. If Squall was dead then why bother living?

Ventus. Ventus would be the only other reason to live but his son was just as lost to him. Fifteen years. Venus would be….Cloud winced, Ventus age coming to him in a fuzzy blur. He was too pathetic if he couldn’t even remember his son’s age. 

What good was he? Why did he always fail? 

The corridor opened, and Hallow Bastion laid before him. It was a mess plain and simple, but the air was clean. There was almost a pulse of pleasant magic in the air. A sort of hope he was familiar with. A hum of refugees putting their lives back together with a grateful attitude. These were people making the most of a situation, relieved to have a home. 

A home wasn’t for him. He wasn’t the kind to ever get to settle down. He’d never stop looking. 

He left Zack behind with the Lifestream, his friend still calling after him to be patient. It wasn’t like Zack. Of course, it wasn’t the real Zack, just an imprint of his heart in the Lifestream. That imprint was enough to be Cloud’s guardian. He was usually happy and amused when Cloud crossed his path, usually on the way to the Colosseum. That was a place he visited often. 

It was good for information and for money. The fact that he got to find an outlet for his aggression was just a plus. Not every world had monsters for him to take out mercilessly. 

Still, he couldn’t recall a time where Zack had been so overwhelming over his well being. 

Cloud wandered through the streets, if they could be called that. The place was a mess but there were people out sweeping rubble into piles. Children were helping a group of women wash sheets and towels and whole sections had been roped off, presumably for new buildings to be built. 

It seemed many structures returned with the state of the world but nothing was put together seamlessly. The citizens were all pulling their weight to make the world livable again. It wasn’t so unlike Midgar. People making the most of what they had. Everyone would come together with different skills and the town would flourish. It just needed time. 

Cloud couldn’t remember why this was his next stop, why it had made so much sense at the time. It just felt like a waste now. He should go back to the Colosseum and figure out his next move. 

He really needed to go before he ended up having to go hunt down a group of cats or something as a favor to someone…

“CLOUD!?” 

He turned on reflex, just in time to grab the young woman who flung herself at him. Her arms and legs octopused around him. 

“It is you! Cloud!” Yuffie just hugged tighter, the ninja trying to cut off his air and circulation all at the same time. “I can’t believe it!” 

“Yuffie?” Cloud just felt numb, trying to push her off of him. How long had it been, she looked the same… Maybe his mind was playing tricks on him but… 

He winced when she grabbed a fist full of his spikes “Where have you been!? Oh Cloud, we were so worried!” 

Okay, probably real. 

“Yuffie, get off.” 

“You could be happier to see me you know!” She scowled. 

“I am, just get off me.” Cloud said, lifting her off of him and setting her on her feet. He shifted awkwardly before pulling her into a less crushing hug. “How did you get here?” 

“Popped on over from Traverse Town.” She beamed, arms around him. 

Traverse Town. He’d been there too. “But…” 

“But what about you?” Yuffie smiled at him, genuinely happy to see him. She pulled away and circled around him. “We were so afraid you were one of the ones lost.” 

“We?” 

“Uh huh.” She grabbed his wrist and pulled him along with her. “So we came here, right? Seemed like a good idea at the time. It’s only been a few weeks really.” She began chattering. “We decided to stick around and help rebuild around here. There was some big blow out close by, you know? Have you seen those heartless creatures?” 

“Hm.” Cloud nodded. 

“Awful little things. They’re everywhere.” Yuffie snorted. “Problem seems to have gotten a little better somehow.” 

It was mildly suspicious that everyone seemed to have the same bits of information but no one knew details. Were the monsters better for the moment, yes, but why? Yes, it was suspicious. He’d have to stay on the alert. 

"You good, Cloud?" She asked in a moment where the conversation had lulled. He wasn't surprised. She saw more than most gave her credit. 

"I guess." 

Yuffie made a face and he knew she'd likely be keeping an eye on him. She continued to drag him across the ‘work in progress’ town and led him towards a little house with smoke coming out the chimney.

Before they could enter, someone else came out. 

“Cid!” Yuffie cheered. “Look, look, look!” 

Cid glanced up with a sigh, ready to go on whatever goose chase she was about to lead him on but surprise took over. “Well ain’t you a sight.” 

“Cid…” Cloud greeted, feeling winded. So many years alone and now two of his friends just appeared before him. 

Cid laughed striding towards them and slapping Cloud’s shoulder. “Where have you been?” 

“I don’t remember exactly.” Cloud said. It wasn’t strictly the truth but it was the easier, faster answer he could give. Trying to explain so many holes in his memories _again_ would just cause them to worry. 

It might not have been believable under normal circumstances but Cid just nodded. “You’re not the first one to say as much. Saw it a lot in Traverse Town. People just appearing at random after their world went kaput.” 

“I’m glad…” Cloud managed, and he was. “Relieved more like it. That you two are okay. Have you seen anyone else from Gaia?” Curiosity nipped at him now. 

Yuffie just squealed and ran back inside. Cloud’s eyes followed her questioningly but Cid snorted and stole back his attention. 

“I gotta say, i hope you plan on sticking around. It was already a pain in the ass when you wandered off in our own world. If you’re able to travel freely between them we’ll never track your ass down.” 

Cloud shrugged, not bothering to deny that. “I’ll pop in and out if nothing else. It’s nice to know where you are.” 

“Yeah well keep in mind we’d like to know where you are too.” Cid rolled his eyes. 

A second later Yuffie was tearing back out of the house, dragging Aerith long by her wrist. 

Cloud couldn’t help his surprise. “Aerith…” 

“Cloud!” Her smile was bright and she took over, not needing Yuffie to pull her closer anymore. She folded her arms around him in a tight hug and pulled away a moment later to look at him, eyes shifting in every direction, including around him. It occurred to him a second too late what she was seeing. 

“I see.” 

Cloud smiled weakly. She could see the pieces of the Lifestream that clung to his soul. He wondered if she would be able to see Zack too. What a bittersweet reunion that would be. 

“It’s good to see you.” He muttered. 

She hugged him again. “I’ve been hoping. This world feels born again, but i can still feel the tendrils that are left. I’ve called to it. It’s like it’s brought you home.” 

“I don’t know about that, but it’s nice to be here.” He took Aerith’s hands, the wisps of the Lifestream in his heart and soul reached out to her. The place didn’t matter. She was still a descendant of the ancients. 

“You’ve had it hard.” Aerith said, brows furrowing. Cloud didn’t want to know what the Lifestream was trying to convey to her. 

“I doubt any of us have had a spectacular time.” He held her hold on for a few moments before pulling away. He didn’t want the Lifestream acting up while he was here. He didn’t want Aerith knowing how fractured his mind felt at the moment either. 

He’d walked that road before and wanted to ignore it. Being around familiar people would probably help him anyway. 

“You’re staying right?” Yuffie asked. “Cid’s gonna set up shop again and we’re gonna help put this place back together. You know, restore it to it’s glory and all that.” 

Cloud shrugged. “I’ll stay, for a while.” Even he had to admit being around people he cared about might help him mentally. It might give him that reason to live. 

“Good.” Aerith smiled, “Here i thought we’d have to follow you everywhere to make sure you didn’t slip off on us.” She'd had practice. 

“Now you’re threatening me.” Cloud managed a weak smile. 

Cid laughed outright. “Yeah, you’d tear off into the night, same as always.” 

“You better not.” Yuffie grinned, arms folded. “We’ve missed you, and we could use an extra set of hands. You could probably use a little down time.” 

Cloud sighed… This screamed cat side mission. 

“Oh!” Yuffie beamed again. “You should meet Leon. You guys will probably be friends, he’s broody too.” 

“I don’t brood.” 

Aerith snorted, linking their arms together and pulling Cloud with her inside.”C’mon. A wizard is letting us stay in his house. It’s rather tuning into our base of operations.” 

“To rebuild this town?” 

She nodded. “Everything we wanted in Midgar and didn’t have the resources for. It’s really rather like a dream come true.” 

Cloud grunted, the slums had thrived despite everything. 

“Leon!” Yuffie called, searching through the house. 

“That girl just can’t sit still.” Cid muttered. “I’m headed to the shop, stop by later blondie.” 

Cloud nodded faintly. How hard could it be to find? He grinned in that familiar easy way before taking off. He'd have to ask about his airship and such later. Surely Cid wouldn't go without. He'd find a way. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Aerith asked quietly, once the two of them were alone. She was looking directly at him, concern all over her face.. “You seem a little off.” 

“Story of my life.” 

He didn't want to do this, not so soon. He needed time to breathe.

“-and we haven’t seen him in ages! Come say hi!” Yuffie was talking a mile a minute as she pulled Leon into the room. 

When Squall stepped into the room Cloud felt like he’d been punched in the gut, air cutting off. He was...here

“This is Leon, short for Leonhart.” Yuffie introduced and Areith’s grip on Cloud’s arm tightened in concern. 

Cloud had gone pale, his heart trying to escape his rib cage but there was no reaction from Squall at all. If anything he was annoyed with Yuffie pulling him around. 

“Leon, this is Cloud.” Yuffie continued

Leon sighed at Yuffie and offered Cloud a nod, no recognition in his eyes. “Nice to meet you.” 

Cloud tried to swallow around the lump in his throat and couldn’t. He was here. Cloud and finally _found_ him. Years of tireless work and finally paid off. He’d found him. 

He was just all together unprepared for how painful it was that Squall didn’t remember him. He knew this would likely been the case, but seeing it in front of him was different. He’d hoped Squall would have somehow beat the odds and remembered anyway. 

His hair was a little longer, but he was still beautiful. Serious, but Cloud knew how to find those little smiles he'd come to adore. He was determined in everything he set his mind to. Be it fighting, or restoring some little town. Squall would give it everything he had. Cloud had..admired that. 

“He talks less than you.” Yuffie snickered. 

“Are you asking for a competition?” Leon asked dryly. Cloud didn’t know how to think of him as Leon. This was the father of his baby. Leon was stupid. Where had that even come from?

Yuffie pouted at him. “Leon…” 

“We’ll find Cloud a room.” Aerith said, obviously sensing his spiraling turmoil. “He’s just arrived after all.” Her grip on his arm was like a vise, so tight that Cloud has to wonder if she was actually the only thing keeping him standing. 

Leon crossed his arms, looking mildly suspicious. “Well, if he’s a friend of yours, i suppose so.” 

The words cut deep, and Cloud still couldn’t find his voice. 

His husband didn’t remember him. What had he been looking for? What was he alive for? 

“This will be great.” Yuffie nodded, sure of herself but even she was starting to eye Cloud and his lack of comments. She was young but she knew trauma when she saw it. “I guess Aer is right though. You rest up and we’ll have dinner together! All of us.” 

Cloud nodded, that was all he could manage. 

“This way.” Aerith smiled and tugged on his arm. “This is a very unique house. It changes to fit the number of people inside.” She pulled him down the hallway. They left Leon and Yuffie talking about stones for a sidewalk down some street and Cloud… couldn’t...breathe… 

“Cloud?” Aerith said quietly, walking him into a room that would be his bedroom. The door even had his name etched on it oddly enough. “Cloud, you don’t look so good.” 

He inhaled shakily. “No. I’m going to lay down…” He dropped onto the edge of the bed and didn’t look up when Aerith squeezed his shoulder. “I need to lay down.” He needed to not throw up from his current heart ache. The room must have been spinning... 

“Take all the time you need.” She said softly. “I’ll be around when you get up, okay? I know this isn’t Gaia but well, home is where your heart is, isn’t it? Hallow Bastion isn’t so bad.” 

Home is where your heart is… If Squall was here, he’d stick around.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: i do not own Kingdom Hearts

It didn’t get better. Weeks turned into months and Cloud stayed for the most part. Other than his trips back to the Colosseum he didn’t stray far. Even the trips where he was looking for Ventus were short. 

He wanted to tell Squall, he’d thought about it hundreds of times. Would the journey looking for his son be less painful if he had Squall by his side? He’d like to think not, but he’d gotten to know Leon over the course of his stay. He liked Leon. Leon was strong and soft spoken. He still had that wicked tongue that could go toe to toe with even Yuffie’s gibberish. He was a leader and never made a promise he wouldn’t keep. 

He was a pillar of strength in Hollow Bastion, but he wasn’t **Squall**. 

Cloud had hoped the pain would ease with time, but it didn’t. If anything, it got worse. Knowing the man Squall should be and not being able to see him was a new kind of torture. He often found himself wishing that he’d found Squall sooner...or hadn’t found him at all. He didn’t know what he wanted. 

He was falling apart, and no amount of busy work helped. They built roads and homes. He helped out with the new pipes to the water system. The first thing to return oddly enough, were flowers. Hundreds of them. 

It wasn’t exactly a valuable material but it did wonders for morale. For most people anyway. Cloud was an exception. All he could think about was how much Ventus would like it here. 

He was afraid Ventus had grown up alone, without memories and left to _wonder_. Gods what could have been worse than to wonder. 

Zack still told him to be patient, that this would pass, but he couldn’t rely on Zack’s remnants to know anything for sure. He was Cloud’s friend, and Cloud wouldn’t be surprised if he was just telling him what he wanted to hear.

Anyone would tell him whatever they thought he wanted to hear. He was sick of it. 

Leon at least didn’t didn’t tiptoe around him like everyone else. Leon let him brood and didn’t try to make him talk about his feelings. It was almost reassuring. Almost. He enjoyed someone being around him that didn’t treat him like he was about to break but Squall _would_ have cared. Would have asked at least once. 

The thought broke his heart all over again. He didn’t know what he wanted. 

He took to disappearing in the middle of the night rather than sleep. He hated sleep. Worse than the nightmares were when the dreams went soft. Those old memories with Squall, or tricks of his mind where Squall remembered him again. Waking up after those was always miserable and destroyed his mood for days. 

Not sleeping seemed better. So he didn’t. He’d wandered through the city and ended up picking a spot to sit and watch the sun rise. Most days, he could get back to the house before breakfast was made. It gave the illusion that he at least tried to sleep in his bed. 

Now he ended up sitting on one of the stone walls that had been rubble the week before. There were so many rocks all over the place that it made sense to use them in the building. They were everywhere. 

He stared at the stars and thought them familiar without being able to place why. It wasn’t like he’d never looked at the night sky before but _these_ felt important. He didn’t know why. Maybe the why didn’t matter. 

After an hour alone he heard footsteps. Loud, scraping, purposeful footsteps that’s announced themselves. He didn’t look up, but he didn’t have to. He already knew who it was. He saw Yuffie only briefly out of the corner of his eye before she hopped up on the wall beside him. 

She sat close to him on the wall and didn’t say anything, she just kicked her feet. It wasn’t the first time they sat like this and it likely wouldn’t be the last. It was something the two of them shared, an understanding he had with few other people. 

In fact, it told him just how bad he must seem if she appeared in the middle of the night just to share this moment. It was camaraderie. It was what linked not just their friendship but the trust that eventually grew between them. 

Yuffie could be so damn annoying with her one track mind and tunnel vision. There was never a single day that passed where thoughts of materia hadn’t passed her lips. She could be loud and devious. She could be irritating with the pranks she pulled just for the fun of it. Her childish antics could rub people the wrong way but that was the thing. Yuffie was a _child_. 

Long before Cloud had even started his training, long before the experiments and the mako, Yuffie had already been an elite. She was a child soldier who was given a task and she was going to complete it because that’s what good soldiers did. She was a child who had to give up being a child. 

Cloud never wanted to think about the things she’d seen at such a young age. Things she was purposely exposed too, and behind all her smiles, he could occasionally see it. How haunted she’d been. He’d always thought her mission of gathering obscene amounts of matiera a cruel one, but it wasn’t until Ventus was born that he truly understood the brutality of it. 

That was a child that was told she couldn’t come home, because she hadn’t done well enough. The thought ate at him. 

Was that the life he was going to give Ventus? Did all the love he could possibly muster make up for raising his son in a war zone? Would he have unrealistic expectations for his son to protect himself from manikins?

Did Ventus hate him now for waking up alone with no recall of where he’d come from? 

Cloud felt ill and rocked forward just a little, his head dropped so low it nearly rested on his knees. 

He inhaled shakily when Yuffie rested a hand on his arm. 

“You don’t have to talk about it.” She said, voice calm and serious. So few ever saw her this way. “But i know something happened. Something else you haven’t talked about yet. I’ve never seen you grieve like this and it’s killing you.” 

He swallowed the bile in his throat. “Sometimes i wish it would.” He was holding on for dear life, but he didn’t know how long he could live with his fake friendship with Squall and the knowledge that his son was out there somewhere. Hopefully not dead. 

“I know.” She said quietly. “And it scares me how easily you could be swayed to… Cloud, i’ve never seen you give up. Not at your lowest or your bloodiest.” 

“I’m tired.” 

“Not that tired.” 

Cloud actually smiled a little, the corners of hips lips tugging up. He wasn’t sure on the time shifts between worlds but Yuffie hadn’t seemed to have aged much to him. She was still a kid. Still loud and full of laughter. Still with too keen an eye when something was terribly wrong. She could see him fraying at the seams. 

“No, not that tired. Not yet.” 

She heaved a sigh, “Good. You know you can talk to me long before you get that tired, right?” 

“Yeah. I know.” He muttered. He didn’t know what made him do it, maybe he missed Ventus that much but he grabbed her around her shoulders and tugged her against him. She made a noise in surprise but slowly leaned back against him. 

“You really are having a hard time, huh?” 

He didn’t answer but neither expected him too. They sat in silence again and maybe just knowing someone else sorta understood, helped. 

~

A month later Tifa appeared as simply as if Gaia had just been destroyed the day before. As far as Cloud remembered, she’d fallen from the void like Squall and Ventus had. He’d been devastated when she disappeared, and the reunion was nice. She was ecstatic to see him and the others, but was meeting Leon for the first time and it was wrong, all wrong. She’d been one of Cosmos' warriors too and like Squall, she had no memory of it. No memory of the void. Where had she been? How long had she been falling? Why couldn’t Ventus just end up here too? 

He’d excused himself almost immediately. He didn’t want to taint Tifa’s arrival with his bitterness. It wasn’t her fault he’d failed his husband and son and it wasn’t like he wasn’t pleased to see her. He was. Just… His baby was out there somewhere. 

She noticed him leaving anyway. As his childhood best friend, she knew right away something was wrong. 

Aerith was worried. 

Yuffie saw him getting worse. 

Leon watched silently, only knowing something was wrong because of the way the girls acted. Only Cid left him alone. 

He worked with the Restoration Committee as a distraction and some days were better than others. Some days working within arms reach of Squall was comforting. It was too painful the other days. When the pressure was too much he headed back to the Colosseum again. He fought in useless tournaments for munny he didn’t need and always ended up right back where he started. 

Watching Squall from a distance and feeling so pathetic over it. Maybe it was time to stop pining. He’d thought it so many times, until the thought went away. He needed Squall, he wanted him. 

It was nearly a year since he’d come to Hollow Bastion that his world was pulled apart again. More people arrived a little at a time. It seemed the more the city grew, the more people came to take up space.

Cloud had been wandering the Crystal Fissure, looking for a little alone time and an outlet that came in the form of destroying the heartless that had been appearing more and more now. His instincts had been spot on. Whatever had gotten rid of them before hadn’t been a permanent solution. 

There was a mild throbbing between his eyes before something seemed to click back into place. It was an odd thing to notice, but with as many times as his memories had taken a hit, maybe he was just attuned to it now. 

He hated that his mind was always taking the hits but at least he- 

**Sora.**

Cloud inhaled so hard it hurt, his lungs squeezing. Breathing hurt. Everything hurt. He tried to breath and couldn’t, collapsing to his knees as he was hit with every beautiful memory that had kept him sane. 

Sora.Sora.Sora.Sora. His baby. He’d forgotten his baby. 

For a year there had been so many holes in his memories he’d brushed off as nothing. A year he’d spent wondering stupidly how he was alive when the answer was so simple. 

Sora. 

He choked on a sob, the sound wretchedly painful to his own ears. What happened? What went wrong? How had he forgotten his baby?! He’d never forgotten Ventus so why Sora? Why? 

Where _was_ he?! Where were they supposed to meet again? Had Sora been looking for him? A year. A Year!

He couldn’t think, couldn’t process the pain of it. The confusion just swirled over and over again. It didn’t make sense. He finally fell back to sit and he howled. Howled for the lost time, for the injustice of his younger child being taken from him like the older. 

What if he’d been hurt? What if Cloud hadn’t been there when he needed him most? What kind of parent was he? How did his children keep disappearing?

Cloud’s howling turned into painful moans that were damn close to outright sobbing. Any heartless that remained had actually turned tail and run. Cloud’s grief melded with his darkness and it was too much for even them to be around. Had Cloud been in his right mind, who knew what he could have forced the creatures to do. 

Sora, his precious baby. His only perfect reminder of Squall… Memories of him had been taken, not just of him but the ones around him too. Destiny Island suddenly came back into focus. How the war for Cosmos had actually ended was far different from his altered memories too. Laguna. He’d let Laguna slip his mind completely. 

All the good things in his life the last decade had all been surrounded by Sora and without him...It was a miracle he’d lasted the year. 

He was hyperventilating and dizzy by the time he registered someone was close by. He didn’t care who it was. They didn’t matter, only Sora mattered. He needed to breathe, needed to get to his feet and find his son. Sora had to be somewhere and if his sudden break in memory wasn’t a sign to get off his ass, he didn’t know what was. 

Cloud tried to get up and fell right back down again. Too many sleepless nights followed by the shock to his system left him uncoordinated. 

He just needed to calm down and think but he couldn’t stop his own wailing. _He’d forgotten his baby._ It was such an unforgivable thing.

“Cloud?”

A gasp stuck in his throat when he glanced up and saw Squall. Leon…. It was too much to hope that with Cloud’s sudden memory of Sora, that Squall would have also regained some memories but other than the soft concern on his face, he didn’t seem to have remembered a thing. 

He was looking at Cloud like he was a wounded animal and would approach with caution.

Cloud wanted to respond, really he did, but he couldn’t. His body had just plain given out on him, too exhausted. 

He cried for the loss of his little boy and didn’t even know where to start looking. It was all so miserable. Cloud jumped when he felt Leon sit beside him, wanting to actually scurry away but he didn’t have the energy. 

“Hey.” Leon muttered quietly, hand on Cloud’s shoulder. “You’ve been headed for a break down for a long time. It’s time you had it.” 

He couldn’t...inhale. He hadn’t expected Leon to have paid such close attention. He expected it from Yuffie who knew trauma. 

He expected it from Tifa who had known him for so long and noted every subtle change in him. 

He expected it from Aerith who just fucking knew things. 

He would have expected it from Squall who could walk into a room, look Cloud up and down and immediately know if something was wrong or not. 

He didn’t expect it from Leon. He and Leon were nothing to each other. Friends maybe. Awkward silent friends who happened to live in the same house. 

The fact that Leon was waiting for his inevitable break down was… was it comforting or alarming? He wasn’t just expecting it, but he was willing to sit with Cloud while he had it. 

Cloud cried, overwhelmed. He didn’t know what his next move was going to be, he could hardly think at all. 

He didn’t remember the last time he’d cried. A part of him thought it must have been when he’d given birth to Sora, but no, there were bad nights when Sora was growing up. When Sora was teething and would cry and cry until Cloud felt completely hopeless and cried too. 

There were a handful of panic attacks too that left him a mess of slow tears, laying on the floor of his little cottage with Sora sprawled out on his chest. An anchor. 

Sora snuck into his bed all the time when he couldn’t sleep. He did it all the way up to the age of fourteen and it had taken Cloud a shamefully long time to realize that Sora wasn’t the one that couldn’t sleep, it was him. Sora always knew when Cloud was having a bad night and had climbed into bed with him to act as his father’s security blanket. 

Sora was so very precious. 

“Fuck t-this shit…” Cloud choked out a cry. “How...could i h-have messed up this b-bad?”

Leon didn’t answer, noting it as the rhetorical question it was. He did however, keep his hand on Cloud’s back. That steady… perfect presence Cloud craved so bad. 

He’d get his act together. He’d find Sora. He’d introduce Sora to his daddy even if Squall never knew. He could look for Ventus again. He would force himself to be well again. He had to for his children. 

Cloud wavered uneasily, so out of his mind in grief that he didn’t notice the moment he slumped over onto Leon’s shoulder. There was so much pain and exhaustion warring for the top spot and his body just gave out. 

He didn’t remember how long he’d laid there, using Leon as his pillow. He didn’t remember passing out or how Leon eventually carried him back home and settled him in bed where he could actually settle comfortably. 

~

In only a few days, his mood had shifted and everyone had noticed. Instead of teetering on the edge he was back to being...stable. It was a hell of a turn around and everyone seemed so pleased that he was feeling better, they didn’t ask questions. 

“Gummi ship spotted!” Cid yelled. 

Aerith and Yuffie both beamed and even Leon perked up and immediately headed outside. 

“Gummi ship?” Cloud asked no one in particular. He exchanged a look with an equally confused Tifa but the other four had already dashed outside, supposedly heading to the castle to wait? 

Cloud didn’t know what the big deal was. 

“Cid’s been building those gummi ships, right?” Tifa looked amused. “Give him a little time and he’ll have a brand new Highwind ship circling the city.” 

Cloud snorted. He wouldn’t be the least bit surprised. “What are they so excited about, i wonder.” 

“Oh, that’s an easy one, my boy!” Merlin said, poofing into the room. “They’re excited to see the young Sora.” 

Cloud’s eyes widened a fraction, his heart beating faster. “Sora?”

“Oh yes.” Merlin agreed. “A kind, brilliant young man, the one no doubt responsible for restoring the worlds this far. It is such a strange thing. It seems all of us here who had met the boy up and forgot he existed for some time.” 

Cloud felt ringing in his ears. _Sora_. 

“That sounds awful.” Tifa muttered. “How do you just forget someone?” 

“Not on purpose, that’s for sure.” Merlin nodded. “There was magic involved, no doubt. Then all at the same moment, we seemed to recall him again. It will be good to see him well.” 

“Rekindling a friendship always is.” Tifa mused, “Cloud, where are you going?” 

“Out.” he said dryly, leaving the house swiftly and hopping up onto its roof to look around. Was it _his_ Sora? It had to be. It was too much of a coincidence that they would have also forgotten someone at the same time he forgot his son. 

He waited, moving along the rooftops of homes and shops to scope out the situation himself. He needed to know and fought the urge to use the portals to travel even the short distance. 

Suddenly, some of Zack’s warning rang true. Be patient. This will pass. Don’t be reckless. 

Had Zack tried to tell him about Sora and he just didn’t listen? That was his own fault. Grief had once again gotten in the way. 

It didn’t take long for him to find the happiest, noisiest kid in Hollow Bastion. Sora was happily talking to Leon, his smile huge and his arms waving as he spoke. Cloud felt all the knots in his chest east. Just _look_ at him. He’d grown. He was taller for sure and was losing that baby fat. He was _okay_. He was _here_. 

Cloud dropped to sit, relief leaving him almost numb. Sora was okay. He pressed his palms into his eyes. He didn’t know which god to thank. Maybe he’d leave it to Cosmos. His baby was okay. He was also arms length away from his daddy and wasn’t that a sight. 

He’d dreamed of the two of them meeting and here it was. With no other expectations, he watched from a distance and felt such a dizzying calm. Sora was there, the dog and the duck still with him too. Funny, he’d forgotten about them too. 

He’d almost forgotten how exhausting worrying can be. 

For over an hour he watched them all wandering around the town and Sora seemed to be delighted in all the changes. That settled a little pride in his gut. He’d help build this place up after all. When they split up again, he watched. Sora was always on the move as a child and now was no different. It did seem however, that his intuition was spot on.

Cloud only had to wait another hour before he heard the footsteps pounding towards him and it took everything in him not to panic right there. They were starting anew. 

“Papa!” Sora tackled him, sending them both sprawling down on the random roof they found themselves. 

Cloud held him, making nothing but a soft pained sound. He hugged Sora tight, maybe too tight as he rocked him against his chest. His baby. His baby. He felt the tears leaking again. 

“I’m sorry! Papa, i’m so sorry.” Sora was crying too, cupping Cloud’s face. Cloud had been worried about his boy, but Sora had evidently been worrying about him. “I’m so sorry, i’m right here. Are you okay?” 

“Sora.” he choked out, kissing his forehead and refusing to let go. “Where…” he couldn’t get the rest of the words out.

“I was asleep.” Sora said quickly, his expression sheepish. He rested against Cloud comfortably, clinging to him while he recounted the story as he remembered it. He had to fix his memories that had somehow gotten damaged and to do that, he had to sleep for a year. Everyone that had know him had forgotten him during that time. 

In the moment it had seemed like an easy enough plan, but it hadn’t been until Sora woke up days prior that he realized the effects it would have on his papa. 

“I’m sorry.” Sora repeated, tears in his voice.”I’m so glad you’re okay. So glad you’re here.” 

Cloud sniffed back his own tears but everything was okay now. Sora was alright. He was here in his arms. No harm done. What would have happened had he succumbed to his own weakness and taken his own life? He’d have left Sora all alone. 

“Papa, it’s okay.” Sora said, rubbing his arm and clinging to him. “I’m here again.” 

“Yes you are.” Cloud sighed, holding him while he could. He wasn’t a fool. He knew Sora would be traveling again soon to search for Riku. Maybe he should give a shot at tracking down his wayward missing adopted son too. Riku falling into darkness would have easily been his influence. 

Tonight though, Sora was his baby again. They laid on that roof for hours and Cloud got the feeling Sora was making sure he was okay instead of the other way around. 

“How did you like meeting your dad?” Cloud asked after a while, voice raspy from stress. 

Sora blinked. “Huh?” 

“Squall.” 

“Uh..huh?” Sora blinked, confused. 

Cloud stared back before it clicked. “Oh. Leon. He’s calling himself Leon now.” 

Sora’s jaw dropped. “Leon’s my dad!?” 

“Yeah.” Cloud chuckled. “Though i’m afraid.. He doesn’t remember me or your brother like i suspected.” 

Sora just seemed dazed. “Leon’s my dad..” 

“Yes.”

“Cool.” Sora looked up at him, his slow excited smile growing. “Cool!” 

Cloud chuckled. “Yeah, i was rather fond of him too.” 

“That’s...wow. Is that why you’re here?” Sora asked. 

“Yeah. I’ve been going back and forth between here and the Colosseum. Haven’t been back home since before it fell. Tara’s gonna kill me.” That was a worry for another day...

Sora laughed weakly and rested his head back on Cloud’s shoulder. “We’ll go back together some day, kay?”

“Yeah.” Cloud said arm around him. The chains of Sora’s memories had been fixed but for Cloud, Sora was a key peace to his very life. A piece he wouldn’t be able to do without again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading
> 
> Series Order 
> 
> Gifts  
> A Home that Heals  
> Tourney  
> Broken Chain  
>  **Secrets Kept**  
>  Design Time. (set during chapter 5 of Secrets Kept)  
> Impart your Wisdom  
> Look to the Rain (Flashback scenes set about 8 years prior)  
> Misfits

**Author's Note:**

> Series Order 
> 
> Gifts  
> A Home that Heals  
> Tourney  
> Broken Chain  
>  **Secrets Kept**  
>  Design Time. (set during chapter 5 of Secrets Kept)   
> Impart your Wisdom  
> Look to the Rain (Flashback scenes set about 8 years prior)  
> Misfits


End file.
